Infinite Loop of Cry

Tell me if I am crossing the line cause its barely visible to my eyes.
Am oblivous of my surrounding when you are in my line of sight.
I need you by my side.
Not so sure of the future, but won’t you give me a chance and give it a try.

Let me be the one to make you the happiest woman alive.

Truth or dare.
I do hope you go for the dare.
I dare you to hop in my ride.
Dare you to give this sincere fellow some time.
Redesign the interior of your heart and make room for this guy.
Give me time to cloud your mind and hypnotise you to be mine.
Together I believe we can touch the sky.

I have tried pulling you closer to my planet, but you seem to have a force greater than gravity helping you break free from my orbit.

The universe has not been kind enough to let us cross paths more than twice and thats a new phenomena I am trying to figure why?

If that is the case, I suggest we break a few Einstein laws and create a big bang of our own.

Have I been locked out of your once humble home?

Has my race been concluded before it even begun?

Reduced to spectator level were I cheer and scowl from the sidelines, but am never part of the play.

Have walked past different paths, but the road that you walking on is the place that I miss.

Won’t you test the waters with me once more?

Rush a wave of pure love past this young soul.

His confidence has been crushed more than once, but he continue to pick up all these pieces to mend his broken heart.

Though he is all healed now, I do not believe his present fragile heart is capable of aspiring a new venture.

The waves that he has faced have been vicious and harsh.

They have been rocking his boat trying to topple it and drag him to the oceanfloor.

Though capable of attempting to swim, in his eyes she was his only beacon of light and he is now saying farewell to his unrequited love. Goodbye

Yet his heart still screams in frustration saying,

I loved you,

I still need you,

I still miss you,

I still love you.

Again and again

I loved you,

I still need you,

I still miss you,

I still love you.

Over and over

In an infinite loop of cry.

By Adrian Kugara

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Breaking The Chain

Do you struggle?
Do you sometimes find it hard to survive?
What do you do then?
Do you hide and cry?
Say no more to hiding.
Hello to fighting.
This is your survival.
Beat your rivals.
Stand at the top and never stop.

I am ready for change,
I am releasing the pain,
Breaking the chain of mishap and blood shades.

I see you lying on the floor,
I ask myself, “am I seeing a ghost?”
Tears pour down my cheeks as emotions overflow.
I begin to watch a tape recording of my past, as I get lost and wonder if this will be my last.
Death you can take me any time, but what is the rush?

I still have unfinished business to resolve.
Just give me more time until this ice dissolves,
just until I have fulfilled my calling and I am old.
Sly friends want to bribe me, no !
I won’t be sold!
Never will give them a chance to party over my downfall.
I will be aiming for the top,
Going to the top,
And be standing at the top.
No I won’t stop cause

I am ready for change,
I am releasing the pain,
Breaking the chain of mishap and blood shades.

You showed me a vision to help me with my mission.
After a precise revision,
I have made my decision,
to follow the right way,
your way
and never be swayed away astray.

I am prepared that much for change.
If opportunity arises, no!
I won’t hesitate.
Pay or no pay I am burying my hate.
I believe if I do so,
I will be in better state.

Everyone I have sinned against forgive me.
The next time when a cloud of temptation appears I will make sure to resist.
My resolve is like an immovable mountain,
I will not be moved even if my enemies insist.
I do not want to cling to the past, but I will forever cherish my triumph moments and use the scars of my battles to propel me torward a brighter future.

My enemies are waiting for me at my front door.
If I will make it, its only you lord, who knows.
I try to take a step forward on my own, but I can’t find my footing,
I slip and fall.
So lord, please carry me on your wings and let everything you shine your light upon be crystal clear.

By Adrian Kugara

Lonely Rain

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Beauty beneath the isolation in the rain.

Once this moment pass our story will will never be the same.

I’m sad, trapped in a lonely place.

I’m scared, help shine a light upon this abyss I am staring at.

It’s gaze is piercing through me and it hurts.

I can hear the rain drops hitting the ground, hitting the roof above my head.

I beg and beg please make it go away.

If you’ve got no intention of extending a hand, you may as well let me wither away.

Let me go astray if you do not care.

Although I sugarcoated my words a bit too much to take, everything I said was real.

Its unfortunate that you took it all as a fallacy and saw me as a snake with a zeal.

Still I dream of you day and night holding you in my arms and saying goodnight sleep tight.

Though in reality this scene never occurred, I keep seeing it as if its a memory that passed away.

So I put some flowers at the sight and ask the Lord to shine a little bit of light.

Though I still have an ounce of strength left to fight, I will graciously look you in the eye and say goodbye.

I feel as if each raindrop that falls is snatching a memory of you and I.

Together we could have touched the sky, but its a shame we ran out of time.

Lonely rain, please cast away my selfish days and selfish acts.

Please heal all these scars and make the pain flow away.

 

By Adrian Kugara

 

 

Memory lane

This is me.
This was we.
What we always sought to be.
You were ever in distress of what you would leave behind.
Whether it would be a small bliss of memory which is like a fire about to fade away or something big which entitles your family to be grandiloquent about for the rest of their lives.

I always told you to be patient and listen to the sound of the clock as it whispers,” tick tock you are a second closer to your dreams.”
You had quite a number of attractive characteristics, but unfortunately patience was not one of them. How ironic it was that I was inciting you to be patient in marrying your then boyfriend while I could not help myself but occasionally let my feelings for you leak.

We had first ventured off as classmates to friends to colleagues and to business partners, but never lovers. I always had a place for you deep down in my heart close to the seed that groomed me to become the man I am today. I never had doubts that you also desired me, but I just could not bring myself to offer you an invitation to become part of my culture and heritage because I feared you would be treated as an outcast in your own. Though you would be happy, being by my side showing me the most beautiful facade of a smile everyday, in your heart you would be missing your family very much. That alone would have tormented me for the rest of my life.

Honestly I must have been the most pathetic and selfish man then. I could not give my surname and simultaneously, I could not let you bear another man’s as well. All I was able to do was delay the inevitable for a resounding decade and a half. In that time I managed to do most of the things I wanted to do with you, but never all of them because to meet a pleasant woman such as you and say,” I am over you,” would have been a total lie. After that I came to terms with myself and let you go as my friend, colleague and business partner, but never as my lover. If in order to obtain something, I have to pay a price, then I will carry the burden of having taken you away from your then boyfriend and family for the rest of my life by continuing to make you the happiest woman alive. I promise to love you till the ends of time.

By Adrian Kugara

Unleashing your Heart

I try to look at you
but I can’t master up the courage to.
Would it be rude if I gaze into your beautiful eyes?
Would I be cool if I gave a quick wink right at you?
Would you think I am obnoxious, pretensious, full of crap and confused?

I am a shy guy.
It would take me forever to ask you out.
I would try,
I want to try.
I know I should give it my all,
but I see you standing tall and about to go.
It would be lame of me to let you leave alone.

No I won’t give it up this time
and go home in sigh like last time,
but I will walk you home tonight
and see the sight of your back as you shut your door.
I would do it everyday if you want me to.
Even if you don’t say it, I know you want me to.
Do not be shy because I would love it too.
Even on rainy days I would like to see you good.
Call you and say see you soon
Cause baby I would rather be with you.

By Adrian Kugara

I Will Wait

Starry night
covered by a dark blanket,
I gazed into your eyes and surely
saw the twinkle twinkle stars.
I could see the reflection of myself in your eyes as if you were peeping through my very soul.

Though the chilly wind made me shiver, I was glad it did because it made you lean closer to my chest. I wrapped my arms around you shielding you as the cold air struck my back like a whip. One section of my body kept rising in temperature and I was afraid I would succumb to the passion in my pants. I did not want to turn into a wolf and devour a cute lamb like you.
I did not want to do anything that would compromise our relationship.

Suddenly you faced me and kissed me by the cheek as if by mistake. It was not over, this time you faced me fully and kissed my lips making my heart race. This did not help at all because it made the hazard in my pants reach catastrophic levels, but your mere uttering of the words,”I love you and I beg of you to wait till I am ready,” managed to calm the beast within me. We lay down in each other’s arms and continued star gazing as we wished for this moment never to cease.

By Adrian Kugara

Just Your Presence

My thoughts are in a mess. Your presence makes my mind clear. You are my life line at the rainbow. When I am surrounded by grey clouds, your smile pierce through them all, casting away my doubts. A sweet melody blending with our mysterious romance is all I feel from the atmosphere. I am truly lifted when I am with you and I feel as if I am on a cirrus cloud. Never be insufficient because I will crash to the ground.

Luck is not enough to describe how a supposed impossible love of the sun and moon came to be.
I want to express how precious you are to me.
Nature takes its course in setting a lovely mood in air when everything is in the rightful order.
I assure you, I am not drunk.
I am saying these words while sober.
Please do not ever give a cold shoulder.

I know I am selfish at times and only think of I, but you have changed that side of mine.
Your eyes are my window to the happiness I longed for since I was a little boy. That is why I cant help it but gaze and gladly drown in your beautiful eyes.

By Adrian Kugara

The man Behind the mask

Clouds hovering above my head,
My mind is shielded in an alternate space.
Uncertain of what is to come,
I built this invisible wall of Jericho to evade the criticism.
Now its feeling like a prison.
Trapped in an infinite warfare of thoughts,
I have no where to place my hope.
Everything I try to do I come off short.

Though I have never puffed, I feel high.
All I do is worry and sigh.
Nobody knows what I truly feel inside.

As I chose the bible as my last resort,
It was more comforting than the human touch.
I am not implying I hate others as such, but to be honest at times they can be selfish and rough.
May be they are the sole reason why I became so detached.

When did I start cursing the world for my own faults?
These clouds above are camouflaging the smoke beneath.
They have been suppressing the hate enough to consume the sky,
dry the air we breathe,
and make every living being cease to exist.

I thought I had everything under control, but why am I still spouting nonsense?
When will the counter attack commence?
Only those that have been treated as outcasts can make sense of this and know what I truly mean.

My Jericho is now crumbling,
I must put on my full amor and face my true enemy.
I have been at war with the outside, but the real enemy was always within.
I command him to take off his mask,
To only come face to face with myself.
Reminiscing my past,
I was never serious at a task.
Maybe thats how I got foolish and never realised I have been my own enemy from the start.

By Adrian Kugara

Rising from the Edge

Before reaching here,
I was crying out from the depth.
The next moment I was rising from the edge.

Do a business plan,
They tell you it ain’t legit.
Frustrated, you just grind your teeth.
Calming your soul, you grab the mike and sing.
Its not over, you come back and speak.
What I seek is acknowledgement,
but they call my vision a pipe dream.
If I can’t find it,
It means I have to dig deep.

Against prejudice and discrimination I stand up.
Cowards always tend to raise their guns up,
But I in celebration, I raise my glass up.
I say put your weapons down
And man-up.

It ain’t the time to be separated
but to unite.
Individually we fall,
together we survive.
Strengthening each other,
we soar to greater heights.
Desist from fights
and acknowledge what is right.

Doing nothing ain’t going to turn the table.
Stop stealing, promoting the devil.
Go to work to make your life stable.
Know you can do anything
cause you are capable.
As humans our potential is infinity,
Like an adventure game
we can raise our level.

Even if you are not part of the crime,
Stop assisting from the shadows.
Be educated, prevent your mind from being shallow.
Never give up, cause success
comes with the struggles.

Thats why I will continue rising from the edge and never land.

By Adrian Kugara

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